5 midnight sun午夜阳光-第45章

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e　was　Not　even　a　half　a　second　had　passed。　Bella　was　looking　curiously　at　my　face；　waiting　for　me　to　approve　her　request。　Had　she　seen　the　flash　of　dread；　or　had　it　been　too　quick　for　her？　I　focused　on　her；　on　our　unfinished　conversation；　pushing　Alice　and　her　flawed；　lying　visions　far　from　my　thoughts。　They　didn　t　deserve　my　attention。　I　wasn　t　able　to　keep　up　the　playful　tone　of　our　banter；　though。　Won　t　you　want　to　tell　your　father　that　you　re　spending　the　day　with　me？　I　asked；　darkness　seeping　into　my　voice。　I　shoved　at　the　visions　again；　trying　to　push　them　farther　away；　to　keep　them　from　flickering　through　my　head。　With　Charlie；　less　is　always　more；　Bella　said；　certain　of　this　fact。　we　going；　anyway？　Alice　was　wrong。　Dead　wrong。　There　was　no　chance　of　that。　old　vision；　invalid　now。　Things　had　changed。　Where　are　And　it　was　just　an　The　weather　will　be　nice；　I　told　her　slowly；　fighting　the　panic　and　indecision。　Alice　was　wrong。　I　would　continue　as　if　I　hadn　t　heard　or　seen　anything。　So　I　ll　be　staying　out　of　the　public　eye　and　you　can　stay　with　me；　if　you　d　like　to。　Bella　caught　the　significance　at　once；　her　eyes　were　bright　and　eager。　you　ll　show　me　what　you　meant；　about　the　sun？　And　Maybe；　like　so　many　times　before；　her　reaction　would　be　the　opposite　of　what　I　expected。　I　smiled　at　that　possibility；　struggling　to　return　to　the　lighter　moment。　Yes。　But　She　hadn　t　said　yes。　If　you　don　t　want　to　be　alone　with　me；　I　d　still　rather　you　didn　t　go　to　Seattle　by　yourself。　I　shudder　to　think　of　the　trouble　you　could　find　in　a　city　that　size。　Her　lips　pressed　together；　she　was　offended。　Phoenix　is　three　times　bigger　than　Seattle　just　in　population。　In　physical　size　But　apparently　your　number　wasn　t　up　in　Phoenix；　I　said；　cutting　off　her　justifications。　So　I　d　rather　you　stayed　with　me。　She　could　stay　forever　and　it　would　not　be　long　enough。　I　shouldn　t　think　that　way。　We　didn　t　have　forever。　The　passing　seconds　counted　more　than　they　ever　had　before；　each　second　changed　her　while　I　remained　untouched。　As　it　happens；　I　don　t　mind　being　alone　with　you；　she　said。　No　because　her　instincts　were　backwards。　I　know。　I　sighed。　You　should　tell　Charlie；　though。　Why　in　the　world　would　I　do　that？　she　asked；　sounding　horrified。　I　glared　at　her；　the　visions　I　couldn　t　quite　manage　to　repress　swirling　sickeningly　through　my　head。

To　give　me　some　small　incentive　to　bring　you　back；　I　hissed。　that　much　one　witness　to　pel　me　to　be　cautious。　Why　had　Alice　forced　this　knowledge　on　me　now？　Bella　swallowed　loudly；　and　stared　at　me　for　a　long　moment。　I　think　I　ll　take　my　chances；　she　said。　Ugh！　Did　she　get　some　thrill　out　of　risking　her　life？　she　craved？　She　should　give　me　What　did　she　see？　Some　shot　of　adrenaline　I　scowled　at　Alice；　who　met　my　glare　with　a　warning　glance。　Beside　her；　Rosalie　was　glowering　furiously；　but　I　couldn　t　have　cared　less。　Let　her　destroy　the　car。　It　was　just　a　toy。　Let　s　talk　about　something　else；　Bella　suggested　suddenly。　I　looked　back　at　her；　wondering　how　she　could　be　so　oblivious　to　what　really　mattered。　Why　wouldn　t　she　see　me　for　the　monster　I　was？　What　do　you　want　to　talk　about？　Her　eyes　darted　to　the　left　and　then　the　right；　as　if　checking　to　make　sure　there　were　no　eavesdroppers。　She　must　be　planning　to　introduce　another　mythrelated　topic。　Her　eyes　froze　for　a　second　and　her　body　stiffened；　and　then　she　looked　back　to　me。　Why　did　you　go　to　that　Goat　Rocks　place　last　weekend　to　hunt？　Charlie　said　it　wasn　t　a　good　place　to　hike；　because　of　bears。　So　oblivious。　I　stared　at　her；　raising　one　eyebrow。　Bears？　she　gasped。　I　smiled　wryly；　watching　that　sink　in。　Would　anything？　She　pulled　her　expression　together。　severely；　narrowing　her　eyes。　You　know；　bears　are　not　in　season；　she　said　Would　this　make　her　take　me　seriously？　If　you　read　carefully；　the　laws　only　cover　hunting　with　weapons。　She　lost　control　over　her　face　again　for　a　moment。　Her　lips　fell　open。　Bears？　she　said　again；　a　tentative　question　this　time　rather　than　a　gasp　of　shock。　Grizzly　is　Emmett　s　favorite。　I　watched　her　eyes；　seeing　this　settle　in。　Hmm；　she　murmured。　She　took　a　bite　of　the　pizza；　looking　down。　thoughtfully；　and　then　took　a　drink。　She　chewed

So；　she　said；　finally　looking　up。　What　s　your　favorite？　Bella　was　I　supposed　I　should　have　expected　something　like　that；　but　I　hadn　t。　always　interesting；　at　the　very　least。　Mountain　lion；　I　answered　brusquely。　Ah；　she　said　in　a　neutral　tone。　Her　heartbeat　continued　steady　and　even；　as　if　we　were　discussing　a　favorite　restaurant。　Fine；　then。　If　she　wanted　to　act　like　this　was　nothing　unusual　Of　course；　we　have　to　be　careful　not　to　impact　the　environment　with　injudicious　hunting；　I　told　her；　my　voice　detached　and　clinical。　We　try　to　focus　on　areas　with　an　overpopulation　of　predators　ranging　as　far　away　as　we　need。　There　s　always　plenty　of　deer　and　elk　here；　and　they　ll　do；　but　where　s　the　fun　in　that？　She　listened　with　a　politely　interested　expression；　as　if　I　were　a　teacher　giving　a　lecture。　I　had　to　smile。　Where　indeed；　she　murmured　calmly；　taking　another　bite　of　pizza。　Early　spring　is　Emmett　s　favorite　bear　season；　I　said；　continuing　with　the　lecture。　They　re　just　ing　out　of　hibernation；　so　they　re　more　irritable。　Seventy　years　later；　and　he　still　hadn　t　gotten　over　losing　that　first　match。　Nothing　more　fun　than　an　irritated　grizzly　bear；　Bella　agreed；　nodding　solemnly。　I　couldn　t　hold　back　a　chuckle　as　I　shook　my　head　at　her　illogical　calm。　to　be　put　on。　Tell　me　what　you　re　really　thinking；　please。　It　had　I　m　trying　to　picture　it　but　I　can　t；　she　said；　the　crease　appearing　between　her　eyes。　How　to　you　hunt　a　bear　without　weapons？　Oh；　we　have　weapons；　I　told　her；　and　then　flashed　her　a　wide　smile。　I　expected　her　to　recoil；　but　she　was　very　still；　watching　me。　Just　not　the　kind　they　consider　when　writing　hunting　laws。　If　you　ve　ever　seen　a　bear　attack　on　television；　you　should　be　able　to　visualize　Emmett　hunting。　She　glanced　toward　the　table　where　the　others　sat；　and　shuddered。　Finally。　And　then　I　laughed　at　myself；　because　I　knew　part　of　me　was　wishing　she　would　stay　oblivious。　Her　dark　eyes　were　wide　and　deep　as　she　stared　at　me　now。　too？　she　asked　in　an　almostwhisper。　Are　you　like　a　bear；　More　like　the　lion；　or　so　they　tell　me；　I　told　her；　striving　to　sound　detached　again。　Perhaps　our　preferences　are　indicative。　Her　lips　pulled　up　a　tiny　bit　at　the　corners。　Perhaps；　she　repeated。　And　then　her　head　leaned　to　the　side；　and　curiosity　was　suddenly　clear　in　her　eyes。　Is　that　something　I　might　get　to　see？　I　didn　t　need　pictures　from　Alice　to　illustrate　this　horror　my　imagination　was　quite　enough。

Absolutely　not；　I　snarled　at　her。　She　jerked　away　from　me；　her　eyes　bewildered　and　frightened。　I　leaned　back；　too；　wanting　to　put　space　between　us。　She　was　never　going　to　see；　was　she？　She　wouldn　t　do　one　thing　to　help　me　keep　her　alive。　Too　scary　for　me？　she　asked；　her　voice　even。　moving　in　double　time。　Her　heart；　however；　was　still　If　that　were　it；　I　would　take　you　out　tonight；　I　retorted　through　my　teeth。　You　need　a　healthy　dose　of　fear。　Nothing　could　be　more　beneficial　for　you。　Then　why？　she　demanded；　undeterred。　I　glared　at　her　blackly；　waiting　for　her　to　be　afraid。　I　was　afraid。　imagine　only　too　clearly　having　Bella　near　when　I　hunted　Her　eyes　remained　curious；　impatient；　nothing　more。　not　giving　in。　But　our　hour　was　up。　Later；　I　snapped；　and　I　rose　to　my　feet。　We　re　going　to　be　late。　I　could　She　waited　for　her　answer；　She　looked　around　herself；　disoriented；　like　she　d　forgotten　we　were　at　lunch。　Like　she　d　forgotten　we　were　even　at　school　surprised　that　we　were　not　alone　in　some　private　place。　I　understood　that　feeling　exactly。　It　was　hard　to　remember　the　rest　of　the　world　when　I　was　with　her。　She　got　up　quickly；　bobbling　once；　and　threw　her　bag　over　her　shoulder。　Later；　then；　she　said；　and　I　could　see　the　determination　in　the　set　of　her　mouth；　she　would　hold　me　to　that。

12。　plications　Bella　and　I　walked　silently　to　biology。　I　was　trying　to　focus　myself　on　the　moment；　on　the　girl　beside　me；　on　what　was　real　and　solid；　on　anything　that　would　keep　Alice　s　deceitful；　meaningless　visions　out　of　my　head。　We　passed　Angela　Weber；　lingering　on　the　sidewalk；　discussing　an　assignment　with　a　boy　from　her　Trigonometry　class。　I　scanned　her　thoughts　perfunctorily；　expecting　more　disappointment；　only　to　be　surprised　by　their　wistful　tenor。　Ah；　so　there　was　something　Angela　wanted。　could　be　easily　giftwrapped。　Unfortunately；　it　wasn　t　something　that　I　felt　strangely　forted　for　a　moment；　hearing　Angela　s　hopeless　yearning。　A　sense　of　kinship　that　Angela　would　never　know　about　passed　through　me；　and　I　was；　in　that　second；　at　one　with　the　kind　human　girl。　It　was　oddly　consoling　to　know　that　I　wasn　t　the　only　one　living　out　a　tragic　love　story。　Heartbreak　was　everywhere。　In　the　next　second；　I　was　abruptly　and　thoroughly　irritated。　Because　Angela　s　story　didn　t　have　to　be　tragic。　She　was　human　and　he　was　human　and　the　difference　that　seemed　so　insurmountable　in　her　head　was　ridiculous；　truly　ridiculous　pared　to　my　own　situation。　There　was　no　point　in　her　broken　heart。　What　a　wasteful　sadness；　when　there　was　no　valid　reason　for　her　not　to　be　with　the　one　she　wanted。　Why　shouldn　t　she　have　what　she　wanted？　Why　shouldn　t　this　one　story　have　a　happy　ending？　I　wanted　to　give　her　a　gift　Well；　I　would　give　her　what　she　wanted。　Knowing　what　I　did　of　human　nature；　it　probably　wouldn　t　even　be　very　difficult。　I　sifted　through　the　consciousness　of　the　boy　beside　her；　the　object　of　her　affections；　and　he　did　not　seem　unwilling；　he　was　just　stymied　by　the　same　difficulty　she　was。　Hopeless　and　resigned；　the　way　she　was。　All　I　would　have　to　do　was　plant　the　suggestion　The　plan　formed　easily；　the　script　wrote　itself　without　effort　on　my　part。　I　would　need　Emmett　s　help　getting　him　to　go　along　with　this　was　the　only　real　difficulty。　Human　nature　was　so　much　easier　to　manipulate　than　vampire　nature。　I　was　pleased　with　my　solution；　with　my　gift　for　Angela。　It　was　a　nice　diversion　from　my　own　problems。　Would　that　mine　were　as　easily　fixed。　My　mood　was　slightly　improved　as　Bella　and　I　took　our　seats。　Maybe　I　should　be　more　positive。　Maybe　there　was　some　solution　out　there　for　us　that　was　escaping　me；　the　way　Angela　s　obvious　solution　was　so　invisible　to　her。　N